The other day I sent my husband a text that said "you are so sexy!" I usually get a "thanks babe" or his adorable "awe shucks." But this time it was different! I got a text back that said, "Thank you, yes it's true." This is a saying shared with the world by, Teacher and Best Selling Author Mama Gena. A response to owning and receiving your magic! Instead of the good old push away, neutralization or deflection. "Thank you, yes it's true," is a response filled with the possibility of building and emanating confidence. Give it a try! Next time someone pays you a compliment respond with it and notice how it feels in your body! Try it on from a place of sincere heartfelt receiving and appreciation. As you honor yourself you are also honoring the sharing with you!
Take some inventory of how you feel when someone is shedding some light on you with love, appreciation, or adoration. Is it uncomfortable or does it make you shine even brighter? Can you receive it into your heart?
Now back to my yummy husband. "Thank you, yes it's true," is what I usually say to him, when he lays words of affirmation on me! I love to be the example of affirming my power, beauty, and erotic energy back to him. It was so beautiful and massively arousing to witness him know his power, and sexiness, to sense his self-appreciation. I got to understand what it feels like to be next to someone that is FEELING themself. I paused, felt the tingles in my pussy, and thought, fucking finally! UUUGHHH this made him even sexier.
This is the thing! Confidence is SEXY AF! He usually doesn't take this persona on. He is not one that outwardly craves the spotlight. So I celebrated him stepping onto the stage of shamelessness and embracing his sexual energy. Let me be clear, there are many compliments my husband can receive, but anytime in the past, if it has been around his sexuality he hasn't been totally open to the energy flow of adoration. Due to past trauma, sexuality has lived mostly in his shadows. There is much to share here, about how my husband has emerged from his sexual shadows. The act of him claiming his erotic kingdom is a tale that will bring much inspiration to many.
But entry we will not be going into that. Today you are here to read about body shame! How it can be insidious and self-destructive when ignored. So let's explore body shame and how to move through the experience of it.
Body Shame-What is it? And how do men suffer from it?
Body shame can be defined as "a discomfort or negative judgment about one's body or appearance." It is often accompanied by feelings of embarrassment, humiliation, anxiety, and even disgust. Body Shame can be a debilitating experience that keeps us from living our lives fully. It can prevent us from participating in activities we enjoy, limit our ability to form close relationships, and interfere with our work or school performance.
Body shame is often the result of comparing ourselves to others and finding ourselves wanting. We may compare ourselves to the images we see in the media, to our friends or family members, or even to strangers we see on the street. These comparisons can leave us feeling inadequate, flawed, and unworthy of love and acceptance.
Men, in particular, suffer from body shame in many different ways. Whether it be from how tall they are, penis size, or comparison to other men. This is something that can create much constriction in their lives. This can lead to a sexual shutdown, self-sabotage, and a life not fully lived.
The good news is that body shame is something that can be overcome! With a little self-compassion and effort, you can learn to love and accept your body just as it is.
Here are some tips for overcoming body shame:
Be mindful of your self-talk. Pay attention to the things you say to yourself about your body. Are you being critical or judgmental? Would you say the same things to a friend? If not, it's time to start being more kind and gentle with yourself.
Reframe your thinking. Instead of focusing on all the things you don't like about your body, try to focus on the things you do like. What are your favorite features? What makes you unique and special?
Seek out body-positive role models. Many people in the world love and accept their bodies just as they are. Find some inspiration by following body-positive influencers on social media or reading body-positive books and articles.
Practice self-compassion. One of the best things you can do for yourself is to treat yourself with compassion and kindness. Whenever you're feeling down about your body, take a moment to soothe yourself with words of tenderness, encouragement, and understanding.
Get moving! Physical activity can help. Exercise can help to improve body image by increasing self-esteem and body confidence. It can also help to release endorphins, which have mood-boosting effects.
Seek professional help. Suppose you're struggling to overcome body shame on your own. In that case, it may be helpful to seek out professional help from a therapist, coach, or counselor who specializes in body image issues.
Body shame is a common experience that can have a negative impact on our lives. But it doesn't have to be this way! With a little effort, you can learn to love and accept your body just as it is. These tips can help you get started on your journey.
Life is too short to spend it hating your body. Start making the choice today to love yourself, just as you are.
With Deep Love and Tenderness
Xo,Christal